My eldest is coming up to 4-years-old now. FOUR. My youngest will be three next summer. That’s scary to me, because he’s only just stringing his words together now, and he’ll be a real boy by the time the weather picks up again. It’s got me thinking about what I want for my boys in the future. I’m talking about their education, family, career or even business dreams when they get bigger.
Much like in the Sam Haskell book about thinking about guidance I got from my parents, I find myself returning to what I was taught when I was growing up and how it shaped me. The more I think, the more I realise that I was given a lot of free reign to figure a lot of things out myself.
Here’s why I’m not going to pressure my kids into any particular path:
1. It’s a Whole New World
Who knows what’s around the corner? What I do for a living wasn’t a possibility when I was 20, never mind when I was in primary school. There’s no telling what opportunities technology could bring in the future, and I would hate to force them into something that they don’t enjoy and regret committing to.
2. My Job is to Encourage
I love food, which is why I dedicated a blog to it. At the moment they do too, but I wouldn’t dream of enrolling them into cooking classes, on route to set them up for a role in the catering world. I’m here to give them that helping hand to help them get the most out of what they love; not force them to do something that I’m really into. If I eventually have to encourage from afar, so be it. All that matters is that they’re happy and I helped in every way that I could.
3. I Can Focus on Showing the Opportunities
Rather than locking in with tunnel vision on one direction (like becoming a professional footballer) I can show them just how broad the world is by travelling with my boys, and opening their eyes to the infinite possibilities they could choose. I feel like I wasn’t given this opportunity when I was younger, and that it would have done me the world of good if I had.
4. Rejection is Almost Inevitable
As boys (and girls) grow, they go through a rebellious phase that can turn them into a whole new person that you barely even recognise. I would hate to be a catalyst for that to happen by putting all of this strain on them to do something that they might not actually enjoy in some years to come. It’s far better to equip them to be adaptable and fit in with whatever happens to come their way naturally.
5. They Have Enough to Worry About Already
Added pressure from parents certainly isn’t going to help them. I would much rather take a back seat about allow them to find their own passions and assist (if they want me to) as and when it’s required.
